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Jurassic Park was an incredible idea and a magnificent feat of engineering, but poor protocols and a disregard for human safety killed what could have otherwise been one of the best businesses of our generation.

Ultimately, I think that if you wanted to run the park successfully and keep visitors safe, the most important thing to prioritize would be…

Man I am glad you asked this question. I'm a 6 year old golden retriever and while I still have a few years left to experience, I think I've been around long enough to tell you what it's really like.

Most people think being a dog is awesome. You sleep as much as you want, all of your meals are prepared for you, and someone literally picks up your poop you. And yeah, you know what, those parts are pretty awesome. But there's a dark side to being a golden retriever that they don't tell you about…

This is something most people wonder about themselves at least 4 or 5 times throughout their life. Everyone ignores you for weeks on end (including your immediate family) and the only person who will talk to you is a little boy you are treating because he thinks he sees dead people.

The fact is, you can't really know if you're just a weird dead ghost thing until the rest of the world finally decides to acknowledge you again. But there are a few things you can test that are generally correlated with not being a weird dead ghost thing, namely…